From hell

12. november 2011 at 16:26

I am not going to drink ever again.

I had been thinking about it a long time before I made the final decision;
actually, from the very beginning, that is.

Cigarettes are something else. By smoking, you don't only harm yourself... That's why.
Drugs are different as well. That's something too harsh, eventually smashing one's brain and erasing it's cells' last remnants; I can feel it clearly. Something is missing -- something essential --


Alcohol - it's a way of self-destruction.
The aimed destruction of that meaningless, insignificant... (me)
That's exactly why I used to drink. Because of the damage. The harm that was done to nobody else, only to one (nervous wreck); beyond redeem. That didn't matter.
It never does.

I spent so many nights outside; wandering in the darkness, restless.
All of my thoughts were so far away then.

That's why I decided.